Some thoughts about our deepest desires. First off, dreams are often impractical. Let’s not worry about that. If they were practical, they wouldn’t be dreams. Second, when we start to move toward the things we really want, obstacles often pop up. We become afraid of not getting what we desire. We start to convince ourselves we can’t have what we want to protect ourselves from the disappointment of possibly not getting it. We start to focus on the obstacles.
The trick is to focus on the goal, not the obstacles. We get what we focus on. If you focus on the obstacles, then you’ll most likely get tangled up in all the obstacles.
At the end of these suggestions, I’ve included some materials you may find helpful: a quote that you might want to review from time to time, and a couple of visualizations you can try to help you along your way. Visualization can be powerful. In a way, what we suggest to ourselves, what we picture in our minds, has a way of coming true. Every great invention, each cathedral or temple or symphony, starts out as a vision, as an image.
Another way to approach your goal is to put it in a God box and forget about it. Your God box is a small container where you place dreams, goals, worries, problems, and then let your Higher Power handle them. You can pray and meditate over them after you’ve put them in your God box, but don’t worry about them. Worrying is just praying to yourself. It defeats the purpose of all work. Every once in a while, you can empty the contents of your God box and look at what’s in there. Then either put it back in the box or start over with a new set of intentions and concerns.
Another technique is the burning bowl ceremony. Find a quiet place, inside or outdoors. This exercise makes a fitting New Year’s Eve ritual. Place all your dreams, goals, aspirations, worries and painful memories in a bowl and burn them in silence. Let go of them through the process. The effect of the burning bowl exercise is often magnified when you do it with more than one person, each taking a turn at burning the past to make room for the present.
If your goal requires action on your part, list steps you can take to achieve it. These objectives need to be specific and measurable. For example, if your goal is better health, you might choose losing weight as an objective. That’s much more specific than “feel better about myself.” Your objectives should also be measurable. “Lose 10 pounds in 8 weeks” is much more specific than “lose weight.”
Choose the people who will support you in your journey to achieve your dreams. It’s difficult to succeed without the support of others. Think about your most important and challenging accomplishments throughout life, whether it was raising your kids or starting up a business. In the majority of cases, you needed the help of other people to do it, didn’t you? Ask certain people in your life to be your accountability partners. You allow them to hold you accountable without holding them responsible for whether or not you achieve your goals.
Then, get to work, and pray (or mediate, if you believe more in that). Pray (meditate) as though everything depended on God (or the universe, depending on your belief system), and work as if everything depended on you.
Once you’ve done all you can, let it all go and find someone else to help. You’re in charge of effort. The universe is in charge of results. It’s our self-centered fear and our demand for specified results on our own terms that often gums up the works and prevents us from getting our heart’s desire. “Ask, and you shall receive. Knock, and it shall be opened,” is different than “Demand and you’ll get exactly what you want,” or “Kick the damn door down if you don’t get an answer.” Our whole problem is that we’ve tried to live life based upon our expectations, and expectations are really demands of the universe disguised as hopes and wishes. By the way, stay away from wishing. A wish is a passive request usually unaccompanied by action. Wishes are dreams lamed, hopes hobbled by inaction. People wish when they’re afraid they may not get what they want if they act.
Our expectations often lead to disappointment. Disappointment ages like bad wine into self-pity, which rots into resentment, which churns to bitterness. The bitter seldom achieve their dreams. That’s why they’re bitter, and their bitter disappointment in turn blocks their progress forward. Most of us can trace our unhappiness in life to a self-centered expectation, which is, again, a demand. Our lives represent a set of initial conditions, yet these conditions don’t determine ultimate outcomes. These conditions are influences, not death sentences. Our responses to the initial conditions set by life determine the outcomes. When we demand a particular outcome from life, we’re attempting to reset the initial conditions, which is beyond our purview. Yet we can always choose a different response to those initial conditions. That’s the only power we have.
The universe answers our prayers and our actions in one of three ways: (1) Yes, (2) No, (3) Wait, (4) You’ve got to be kidding me, or (5) I’ve got something better for you.
© 2022 by Michael C. Just
Mike’s novel, The Dirt: The Journey of a Mystic Cowboy, is available in softcover or eBook formats through Amazon.
You can purchase the book through this website. Or go straight to amazon at https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+dirt+journey+of+a+mystic+cowboy&crid=1S40Q4BXSUWJ6&sprefix=the+dirt%3A+journey+of+a+m%2Caps%2C180&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_23
Mike’s other titles, including The Crippy, The Mind Altar, and Canyon Calls, are available through this website or through Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002
Four of his short stories have recently been published online:
Lies, Ltd. has been published by The Mystery Tribune @ Lies, Ltd.: Literary Short Fiction by Michael C. Just (mysterytribune.com)
The Obligate Carnivore has been published by the Scarlet Leaf Review @ Category: MICHAEL JUST – SCARLET LEAF REVIEW
I See You, Too has been published by the 96th of October @ I See You, Too – 96th of October
Offload, a short story about a man who can heal any disease, is now live and can be read at The Worlds Within at Offload – The Worlds Within