Everything I think I see around me is just a reflection of my unfinished business projected outward. So it’s pointless to fight it. But if I continue to resist problems that appear to come from the outside world, I’ll convince myself of the reality of my external situations. If I fight the outside world, a good deal of the time I’ll end up losing. I may then feel disappointed, sorry for myself, resentful, and embittered. That’s what happens when I try to make someone or something else responsible for my unfinished business, which flows from within.

This idea about unfinished business applies as much to people in the collective as it does to individuals. say, for example, that a nation oppresses a minority which lives within its borders. The oppressed group rebels, and the rebellion is put down. yet the problem isn’t solved. It just sets the stage for future conflict, maybe even revolution and civil war. In this way, even when we win, we may lose in the larger sense. They call that a pyrrhic victory, when we win, but lose by winning. The reason is because we haven’t removed the problem, which exists between our ears, and not outside our skin. So the problem just resurfaces. It replicates and may assume a different form until it’s dealt with.

I used to retaliate when I perceived another driver cut me off or tailgate me. I’d tailgate them or slam on the brakes. I may have tried to cut them off. But it never solved the problem because I’d just react again the next time someone dissed me on the road. My unfinished business seemed to come from an external source, but it was coming from me. It couldn’t be solved by waging war against it on the outside, since there’s always another bad driver. I had to realize that my reaction caused my distress.

Most of what the world teaches is that resistance is good, that you need to fight to get what you want, to keep what’s yours, and to take back when someone takes what’s yours away. If they take away something you can never get back, then we’re taught through our stories to seek revenge. It helps establish deterrence, and teaches your offender a lesson so they won’t try to take from you again.

Most stories glorify this fighting, which in the end is always some form of physical violence you must resort to in order to reestablish balance. Inevitably, we fall back on violence to reclaim what’s ours. One look at the world shows that this is so.

I’m not saying that fighting is inherently wrong. I simply ask whether it’s a useful strategy. Trying to fight violence with more fighting, with more violence, fails because it sees the causes as outside ourselves. The world is at war, is a war against itself. It started with a single act of violence which, because it was dealt with on the outside rather than inside, led to counterattacks, and counter-counterattacks. I believe that fighting mislocates the problem outside ourselves, when really, we need to come to terms with our unfinished business, which is on the inside.

If you’re reading this, my guess is that you’re experiencing some sort of resistance to what I’ve written. You can probably feel it somewhere inside your body right now. And if you can, it may serve as an indication that the problem of your unfinished business lies inside yourself, and not really outside. You may think of all the wrongs that needed to be righted, of all the just wars, all the victories that were only earned only through some form of conflict. You may even think that struggle is almost always necessary, especially against your enemies, since you’ve convinced yourself that they resort to fighting, too, and that if you don’t fight them, they’ll fight you and take what belongs to you. You may think of the exceptions to my point. You may be thinking Yes but right now. Your sense of justice may be intimately bound up with fighting.

Yet the world looks like it does – dangerous, with many people or groups untrustworthy – simply because we maintain this belief that fighting is necessary, and even a good thing. Seldom does it occur to us that we need to look within at our unfinished business before trying to take care of business on the outside.

In reflecting upon this idea of unfinished business, I suppose the notions of karma and reincarnation come up. Maybe my unfinished business accrues lifetime after lifetime. I don’t want to go that deep into why my unfinished business shows up in my outside world. I just need to acknowledge that it appears, where it comes from (inside), and what I can do about it.

If everything I see reflects something within myself, that also applies to the good as well. The good I see in the world is a reflection of something I first see within myself, and then experience outside; in my relationships, in the good I do for others, in the gratitude I feel for what I have.

What this means is that anything worthwhile in this world can’t be taken away from us because it’s inside, not outside. If it could be taken away, would it really be worth having? Qualities like innocence and love can be lost, yet not destroyed or taken away. We simply ‘misplace’ them, forget that we still have them.  We cover them up with blankets of forgetting, with our unfinished business. Innocence may be obscured by guilt, by cynicism and bitterness. Love may be covered up by waves of fear or resentment. But these qualities, these essences, are still within us. It’s our seeing that needs to heal so that we can experience these essential qualities again. Yet the essences themselves are not lost to us.

If something isn’t lost, where can I find it? It must be within myself. Innocence was never in the world. we can see it, can recognize it in the eyes of a child because we still sense it within ourselves. It’s in us. It’s just obscured, covered over by layers of unfinished business.

We need to remind ourselves of who and what we really are. We do this by reversing the energy of war. Every time I let someone in in traffic. it reminds me of who and what I really am. A long time ago, when someone cut me off on the highway, I retaliated. I cut them off in turn, or I followed them too closely. Gradually, I was able to stop seeking revenge like that, but I still may have honked and given them the finger. Eventually, I stopped doing that, too, but I still shot them ‘the look.’ (You know what that looks like). Then I stopped doing that, and just called them an asshole to myself. After that, I just thought: Asshole. Then I started saying: I love you, asshole. That’s where I’m at now.

To see what’s never suffocated within us, to know that innocence at the bottom of the pile which has never died, we first need to shovel off all the unfinished business that hides our true essence.   Life is a process of this uncovering. it’s not a process of acquiring qualities from outside ourselves and bringing them inside. You were born with everything you need inside yourself, and you still have it.

So take responsibility for your unfinished business, and forgive yourself for the fact that you blamed it on everyone and everything else all along. Remember: it’s inside, not outside.

© 2025 by Michael C. Just